Smile…It’s Your Wedding Day!

This blOgle was going to be on song selection for an event, mainly a wedding, UNTIL I saw my Bride’s smile Friday night (Day after Valentine’s Day). A smile is a simple thing and I’m sure if she reads this, she would wonder why I am being so weird about it. A smile on a bride is way more important than her dress. It is contagious, and spreads throughout the group! Don’t stop reading, this isn’t going to continue in to “cliche-ville”.

I am constantly asking my staff to constantly smile, while working on this myself, even if it’s fake. When I see anyone not smiling at an Event, especially a wedding, it makes me wonder what’s going on. In our busy lives it seems weird that so many people grumble around with a frown as a the default way of wearing their face.  I’m sure there is some psychology behind this, but people who smile get way more out of the people around them!

It chose to rain slightly on ‘our’ outdoor ceremony Friday night, the guests seemed a bit awkward standing around under umbrellas, almost uneasy in their own skin. The videographer and I tried to get them to loosen up to no avail. Then that gorgeous bride confidently stepped out with a huge smile on her face, and it was if we were all standing there on a dry day in July. From that point on the night was set and we celebrated the union of an amazing couple! For all I know, she hated my guts and every song I played, but that smile put everyone at ease and kept friends and family mixing and mingling.

Another Amazing day at Dara’s Garden! I love Valentine’s Weddings!

Weddings and Events generally build energy in a ‘Snow Ball’ effect, in a Positive direction or Negative. When involved with said events, in whatever role, remember to build that direction positively and a smile a ton. I mean this lovingly, if you can’t smile at someone’s wedding… stay home!

Now What?

Chances are most of you are 4-6 Months out from you wedding. I want to help you get a grip on what is to come and give you some pointers on how to navigate this period. The Month of January is generally spent assembling your vendors. February is spent at open houses. Then you are off to the races! Here is a guideline to help improve your psyche over the next few months, improving your experience and everyone around you making it enjoyable for all!

Hunter Valley Farm, Knoxville TN, 5ringsphoto,

1. Given you are 4 months out, the month of February should be spent at open houses and gathering ideas. These open houses will help you to get in an environment with vendors who are relaxed and not under a ton of wedding day pressure. If your vendors aren’t participating in these events, it’s not the end of the world. If your vendor invites you, that means you should go. This next month is for you to gather OPTIONS meaning BRIDE:(I can set this table A,B,C,D,E,F,G ways)(I am going to narrow this to A,C,D,G). You have to cut out what you don’t like during this period and get out of that line of thinking, because you need to focus on and communicating what you DO like. This will create a more positive environment for all. I sometimes get ‘Do Not Play’ Song lists that are longer than my ‘Play Lists’. While this is fine and nothing I can’t over come, shouldn’t the mode be “I want to give this vendor a list of what to do, and NOT what not to do.”? All preliminary meetings on vendor’s capabilities should be wrapped up now.Pinterest is obviously an awesome concept builder and gatherer for you to visualize things:

NOTE: A random photograph on Pinterest is the product of about 3500+ pics from that day, that photographer, that light, that venue, that budget, etc….That is the ONE “magazine-shot” that person used to represent. Make sure when you are showing a Pinterest board, or even first mention a Pinterest board, to your photographer or design professional that you put a disclaimer on your conversation that you understand the above. DO NOT put that pressure on your Professionals because A. They are artists and creators, do not have them meticulously imitate something else and B. Your own expectations are out of whack as every photo cannot be cover worthy, it’s impossible. Besides, there is only one cover of a magazine for a reason, so you have something to open up and flip through.

Ambiance Light Design Knoxville,TN

2. Given you are two months out, you must pick and choose, then assemble these ideas into a written ‘script’. Nothing is ever really final, but start working to final. Have fun with it. I personally do most of my thinking in bed at night. My thoughts and to-dos get committed to long term memory a bit better this way. So if this is when you do your ‘Thinking” take your time and visualize how all of this goes together. If you need coaching, don’t ask your family and friends, they don’t have a clue. Ask your vendor THEN ask your friends and family. After all, they know you personally! If you spend more than an hour on something small, like what your party favor should be, you are not allocating your time wisely.

3. At ‘A”Month’ out, you should be 95% Finalized barring any subtle changes to the ‘Script’. This Script should be emailed and CCed to all vendors so they all have an avenue to connect and communicate with each other.

TIP: An itinerary should have contact information for each vendor on the first page, along with their estimated arrival time ‘day of’. This will help the vendors to look out for each other!

4. Two weeks out, plan on taking 20 minutes or so to let the vendor ‘read through’ the script over the phone with you so any small changes can be made. Remember the last week leading up to your wedding is chaos, family and friends coming to town and unforeseen things cropping up here and there. Your time two weeks out is spent getting ready for the main event! Do something that you enjoy that is relaxing, get a massage, send your groom a sweet note, send a pleasant ‘Thank You’ message to your vendors by email. This will help your stress level while helping to relax the people on your team.

5. The week leading up, another 20 minute or so phone call read though can be done early in the week to get everything completely nailed down. Be quick and efficient with your time and DO NOT be driving around town hysterically texting, if you have an issue crop up, go to your vendors with it first for their guidance if they are available, but relax and be safe. It is impossible to have a wedding without a bride, believe me I know from experience. This applies to your psyche as well. You are no good to this process as basket case or lunatic, so make sure all to-do lists are complete and you are packed for your honeymoon the week before. Your schedule should be wide open. If you have work as so many do, your boss or employees should know that week is going to be rough and their wedding gift to you is taking care of things around the office.

Keep smiling, put people at ease. With vendors, don’t over state where they mess up, over state where they make you happy and encourage them. With Family, let them know what they mean to you and be emotional in a happy way. This is a time to reflect on the past and look to the future with optimism. If you make this about everyone, they will respond by making it all about you!!!

Customize???

We live in a world where consumers want everything to be about them! Their iPhone case has to match there background on their ipad has to match the interior on their car. We all know that we are a self-centered culture and this is especially true when planning an event with a Guest of Honor. Most of the time this Guest of Honor is a bride (and groom:side note lol!) so I will speak about it in that context.

BRIDES: Please lead the charge!

A wedding to a girl is a very sentimental and important thing. They think about it most of their life and spend a chunk of their life paying for it. So it has to be right and it has to be CUSTOM more than ever. I, of course, am here to help. I spend a great deal of time educating myself on the latest in customization and then I spend a great deal of time matching the perfect trend up with the perfect client. Customization is super easy when discussing decor. Many elements within a set-up can be tweaked to customize an event for a couple. This is especially true when our clients add our enhanced lighting package, lighting really gets a bride’s heart racing! (I apologize for the commercial).

Then, there is entertainment…

Entertainment is difficult to customize as it is meant for everyone to enjoy at an event. While I certainly understand the importance of the Guest of Honor to be pleased with the format of the music, what about the 200 or so guests who also are listening? What really makes the entertainment work is it’s ability to please the GROUP, not an individual. If one person in a room of 200 that we are DJing for is pleased, that means 199 other people think we did a poor job. We generally do not care as long as that one person is the Bride, that is our mission when we wake up that morning. I do not feel like this is good policy for the success of the event. I personally feel like our Brides want their guests to have a great time and dance the night away, because at the end of the day that Bride wants everyone telling her how fun her wedding was.

Sure you can add a lot of gimmicky  tricks to a DJ or Band’s presentation, but too much forced entertainment can work in the opposite direction. The last thing anyone wants is to attend a wedding, sit down at their table, and have some guy cramming a microphone in their face and making a big spectacle of them. Some groups really enjoy this interaction though. It just comes down to one thing, a Bride must determine:

1. What are her needs and how does the music symbolize her and her new husband?

2. How do these needs fit with her guests?

3. Unknown, what if something happens and the guests aren’t responding to the selected format. How do you deviate from the game plan?

The third point is most important because no one except God knows what party guests are going to respond to on that particular day in the future. At Ogle Entertainment, we relish it when a bride comes to us and asks how things are going, and gives us carte blanche to change with the group. After all, it is her responsibility to spend time with her family and friends, it is ours to make her family and friends groove.

The Leaves are Changing

Crescent Bend, Gangnam Style, Jake James

The leaves are changing which usually brings on a lot of sentimental feelings around headquarters and I begin to unravel what was an amazing summer/wedding season. Each wedding season is full of incredible moments that most folks don’t get to see, and being that our staff works in private events, we trickle out certain moments while trying to keep most private. A mountain of planning, hours of meetings and emails, and good old-fashioned luck combine to make these memories/magical moments happen. Hats off to our staff and the other vendors and their staff’s efforts throughout the year. I truly believe that no one gets to witness the sacrifice that these professionals make in their own lives to achieve that happy Bride and Groom.

One of the moments that sticks out to me was a simple one. I had a delightful couple whose Mother-Groom dance was ‘Stand by Me’. Seems simple enough right?….Wrong. I have a tremendous amount of respect for my own parents, and try to channel this into my own handling of my client’s parents on wedding day. This particular MOG (Mother of Groom) was an absolutely delightful conversation, strikingly beautiful, and had a magnetic smile. Unbeknownst to me, until I arrived on site and met her, she was also in a wheel chair. Once I put two and two together, add in the song selection, a mini-stroke or two within 5 minutes…I decided to see how this played out without going directly (Transparently) to my client to clarify.

The Ceremony was beautiful and the couple was all smiles. As I was helping this mother from Ceremony sight to reception sight, she clued me in. She had braces and as a surprise to everyone, was going to wear them during the dance allowing her to stand. She and I worked out the proper timing and as the Father-Daughter dance concluded, I introduced her and she proudly stood with her handsome son and danced to “Stand By Me’. Everyone in the room was in tears. The moment was complete and all I kept thinking that night on the way home was “Wow”.

This and many other moments like it throughout the year really define what I am most proud of as it pertains to Ogle Entertainment and the collection of men and women that I work with. While a wedding day brings so much happiness and enthusiasm to a couple’s beginning, it also goes a long way to removing the burdens that all of our families go through, if only for a day.

I feel blessed by many of my clients for what I get to witness in these very personal moments, and appreciate the opportunities I have to gain the experience to make these things happen. Ogle Entertainment 2012, signing off.

COMMUNICATION!

This Groom really worked with us to get a rain plan in place for this big entrance. My Hat is off to him!

COMMUNICATION!! I’m sorry for shouting. The most important part of planning any event is clear, efficient, honest, definitive communication.

• Clear communication sounds generic enough, but you would be amazed at the conflicting information I receive as a DJ in all aspects of planning. 60% of our contracts start out with one time (6-10) only to  have an actual event start time (5:30-11:00). Luckily, our team arrives a minimum of three hours early to compensate for this. Also, I can’t count the times I will spend months planning a formality within an event for a client that is cascading and begins a series of formalities. I will remind the client of the importance that we get these formalities done at a crucial part of the event so we can extend the life of the event by keeping the guests engaged. When this time comes, I will ask the client if they are ready (I only make suggestions and NEVER tell the client what they should do), they will give me the go ahead and just before I begin this vitally important formality, I will look up and the client is walking out of the back of the room.
• Efficient conversation is necessary pre event for everyone’s sanity. Ask your vendors how they prefer to communicate with you, understanding that you can adapt this communication to your needs as well. In all cases, a wedding vendor is obligated to that bride that day 100%. If that vendor is thinking into the future at all, he/she is distracted and is more likely to miss a detail. Day-of communication, a bride’s communication with her vendors should be SHORT and SWEET, for her time must be spent with friends, family, and her new family.  Ask any vendor and they will tell you that minutes on wedding day go by five times faster than minutes on regular day. I know it sounds weird, but it is some weird wedding space time continuum thing. Your time as a bride is stretched, and your discussions and decisions should be made quickly and decisively. Bride: “I would like to go ahead and throw my bouquet after the next song, can you let the photographers know and find my throw away bouquet, please?” Jim O: “Yes Ma’am!” That exchange takes 15 seconds.
• Honesty is the most difficult aspect of WEDDING communication to regulate as a vendor. Because it is The Bride’s Special Day, her interactions should all be full of smiles and perfection. As a bride, I encourage you to completely understand and expect this behavior 100% from your wedding guests, and 95% from your vendors. I encourage any Bride or person planning any special event to give your vendors space, by telling them early in your planning process, that they have an obligation to voice any concerns they may have, privately, about any aspect of your event that they are responsible for. For example, you have invited 150 of your closest friends and family to your out door wedding. You have rented a tent and have everyone from Flower Girl to Grandma in this tent. Your DJ alerts you that a large storm is moving in, identifying it’s severity with RADAR. You have two paths here. Ignore it because it’s your wedding day and what could go wrong, plus it just makes you nervous talking about something like that. WRONG! You look to this hero DJ and say let’s move my very important family and friends SAFELY indoors and let the dangerous/inconvenient weather pass. By empowering your DJ to alert you of danger and dealing with it, you have avoided a REAL disaster, which is someone getting hurt at your event. If you hide behind “It’s my Special Day’ don’t come to me with your concerns; you have made the mistake that will KILL your event and subsequent good memories.
• Definitive decision making. That last one month leading up to your wedding, make all decisions quickly finally. The months before this time, spend your time being open to all ideas , collecting and evaluating them all. Make sure that along the way you ask your wedding professional their thoughts on certain concepts. I conditionally encourage you to use Pinterest for certain ideas, definitely decor based elements of your wedding, reception, or special event. One condition of this is, you must understand that certain professional pins and pics are 1 in a 10000 professional photograph in some cases. For example, I have a pin board that is nothing but Preston Bailey designs. Of course you should be there when someone comes to me with a Preston Bailey design. I tell them I would be delighted to copy his work, it will cost 5 million dollars and need two weeks dedicated from your venue to execute the design. We then begin looking for more budget friendly ideas.
• TIPS- However you generate your “Event Day-Of” itinerary, make sure that you circulate it with a simple CC in an email to all of your vendors. This way all vendors are on the same page!
• TIPS-Plan the work, work the plan!

Woot!

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Tuesday night I was deep in Gatlinburg, on top of a mountain, at a beautiful place! My client’s were a very sweet couple and I was pleased to see the groom and his brothers setting up the ceremony and reception sites! It was a wedding that ran behind to the point of the ceremony being an Hour and Fifteen minutes late, and the cake delivered smashed in transit. Other things throughout the night went wrong, but I smiled the entire night, because it wasn’t about that. It was about a couple coming together with their family in celebration and fellowship. I guess that should keep it in perspective.

I plan on starting a series of event element DISCUSSIONS from floral to lighting, front to back of house, budget busters and money saving techniques. I’m strong on alot of topics, not English, so bare with me when it comes to grammar and such. I really don’t care.      ( do you see what I did there?:-) )

I hope we can get some dialogue going from other Wedding Professionals and their input always. So lets Forum up! I’m trying to keep my concepts that I would like to implement decor wise on Pinterest, so I hope that will serve as a place for visual concepts for decor, which is super critical!